Yes, S.O.S. Save Our Souls, apparently. But, why? Could be loads of different things. Stickiness on stamps. Salt or sugar. Sex or sellotape. Spoon overpowers spanner. Starch our sheets. Seduction over supper. Spawn of Satan. Sickle or scythe. Scary 'orrible spider.
Just what does it mean? Who knows? WHO CARES?

We do. Is it part of a government cover-up? Slightly odd secret. Is it important? Surely, Olag, surely. Scraping the barrel? Shrewd observor, sir. Just how many words in the English language start with "s" anyway? Six or seven. At least.

This year's Spring Revue will be brought to you by the letters O and S, as well as 24 others less-featured in the title. What will be in it? Superbly original stuff. What will it be? Sold out soon. What will you do? Laugh. On pain of death. You got it, baby: Smile or suffer.